Visiting Professor of Pessimism --audio CD Ten Day Soup --audio CD Genome Out of the Bottle --VHS video Rush Limbaugh in Night School --audio cassette A power-drunk President... Troops advancing on Baghdad... Protesters in the streets... This was the situation as Charlie Varon took the stage of the Brava Theater in San Francisco on April 6, 2003 before an audience of 350. This CD is a live recording of that sold-out performance. Highlights of the CD: Charlie's trademark BBC News parody, skewering Bush, Rumsfeld, and Blair a monologue on marching for peace in San Francisco a multi-layered story about American Jews and Israel, told by "the only Gentile at the bat mitzvah" a salute to Henny Youngman and Sigmund Freud, "the two giants of Jewish comedy"... In all, 77 minutes of material, written in collaboration with David Ford, and with the help of Jim Rosenau and Myra Levy. Track list: BBC News. . . Visiting Professor of Pessimism. . . My War. . . Too Damn Polite. . . Stewart Russell. . . Forget Your Troubles. . . The Four Questions. . . People's Violin Medley. . . America-Head Listen to excerpts from the CD: BBC News Visiting Professor of Pessimism My War $16.95 Buy it now! Visiting Professor of Pessimism Ten Day Soup In the spring of 2002, Charlie Varon and collaborator David Ford created a show from scratch in ten days. Thanks to critical and audience response, the show was extended...and recorded. One fan writes: "I have been playing the CD in the car, at home, at work, for friends, over and over. You are truly remarkable." Eight monologues... 73 minutes... recorded before a packed house at The Marsh in San Francisco. Listen to excerpts from the CD: Picketers in front of Noam Chomsky's house Ushering in a redemptive age My spiritual awakening Listening to Leishmaniasis The Gentile at the bat mitzvah Grandma Dora (a memoir) Make $20 check payable to Charlie Varon and send to Charlie Varon, The Marsh, 1062 Valencia St., San Francisco, CA 94110 Genome Out of the Bottle In the spring of 2001, the California Medical Association approached Charlie Varon about giving a speech. They were thinking comedy: Charlie would do a few routines over lunch to lighten up a seminar for physicians and attorneys. Charlie had a different kind of comedy in mind. He proposed to do the speech posing as a ranking expert on human genetics. To Charlie's amazement, the C.M.A. agreed to the prank. In less than five weeks, Charlie created Albin Avgher, Ph.D. and his theory of human communication, supported by an intricate web of fabricated statistics and personal anecdotes. Still, when he finally took the podium, he had no idea whether the assembled doctors and lawyers would believe him. Color VHS video... 32 minutes... includes interviews with audience members. Listen to an excerpt $16.95 (US and Canada only) Please allow 2 weeks for delivery. Now available for free online Rush Limbaugh in Night School Hear the show that became a runaway hit at The Marsh in San Francisco, and traveled to St. Louis, Washington DC, and Off Broadway. The Washington Post called the 25-character solo show "a delight... Varon, an uncannily gifted mimic, plays a cast of 24, including, besides Limbaugh, his agent, his (uh-oh) libber girlfriend, several New School for Social Research faculty members (one of whom lectures unforgettably on the metastructure that produces a pear), a gay performance artist, a rival talk radio star and assorted 'real' people, including Garrison Keillor, Spalding Gray and Jackie Mason. It's quite a party." Audio cassette... approx. 90 minutes... recorded live at The Marsh. Listen to excerpts from the cassette: Rush on the air It's what boys do Jackie Mason does Garrison Keillor Make $20 check payable to Charlie Varon and send to Charlie Varon, The Marsh, 1062 Valencia St., San Francisco, CA 94110

Starting Points for Creating Characters 1. If you're writing a personal essay or memoir... Some thoughts from Philip Lopate: “In personal essays... the writer needs to build herself into a character... “So how do you turn yourself into a character? First of all, you need to have – or acquire – some distance from yourself. If you are so panicked by any examination of your flaws that all you can do is sputter defensively when you feel yourself attacked, you are not going to get very far in the writing of personal essays. You need to be able to see yourself from the ceiling... “A good place to start is your quirks. These are the idiosyncrasies, stubborn tics, antisocial mannerisms, and so on that set you apart from the majority of your fellowmen. There will be more than enough time later to assert your common humanity, or better yet, to let the reader make the mental bridge between your oddities and those of everyone else... Who wants to read about that bland creature, the regular Joe?” (Excerpted from “Writing Personal Essays: On the Necessity of Turning Oneself Into a Character”) 2. If you're creating fictional characters... My starting points: Abandon all shoulds. Look for any spark that lights you up or intrigues you. Create characters you don’t fully understand. Look for both external conflict and internal conflict in the character’s life. As you develop a character, and think about their backstory, write what gives you energy and don't worry about being thorough. 3. David Ford's wisdom on “normal” From a workshop David and I taught many years ago... Student (after reading something she’d written): “I don’t know, the people in this piece don’t seem normal.” David : “There’s nothing normal a bout people.”

< Back #20 The grass is green and the sky is blue April 18, 2025 Written & performed by Charlie Varon Collaboration: J.P. TillemanSpecial Thanks: David Ford The grass is green and the sky is blue 00:00 / 02:02 Keep the bonbons coming! Email me when the next one is ready! Email Subscribe Get tix now Buy before May 1 and get $5 off w code COCOA More announcements #1 Don't postpone writing your memoir! Say What You Mean Before You Die New session starts May 1 #2 Can't stand what's happening in this country? Life is better when you're doing something to change it Here's one place to start Previous Next

Alan Watts: "Puzzling Evidence" Charlie Varon 's Comic Bonbons #13: Alan Watts, "Puzzling Evidence" Alan Watts - Puzzling Evidence 00:00 / 06:00 Written & performed by Charlie Varon Collaboration: J.P. Tilleman Attention, writers and performers: I have openings for mentoring/coaching .

I've been teaching writing and performance workshops since 1993. Below are descriptions of my current workshops and my performance and script consultation. For email updates on my upcoming workshops, click here . Get Up and Write! Every Wednesday via Zoom 8 to 9.15am Pacific Time FREE Click here to donate Like going to the gym first thing in the morning. 3 different writing prompts, plenty of time to write, and company in the creative process. Think of it as a trip to... The Imaginarium Please plan to arrive 5-10 minutes early. We will start promptly at 8am. Make sure you're set up to write -- using either paper and writing implement, or your computer. Feel free to invite a friend! Email me and I'll send you the Zoom link! ________________________________________________________________________

< Back #4 Mitch's Silence Satire, Pranks and Other Comic Bonbons September 26, 2023 "Mitch's Silence," featuring Studs Terkel & Dr. Oliver Sacks I can't stop thinking about Sen. Mitch McConnell and that news conference, the one where he froze and went silent for 30 seconds. Then my friend Jim Rosenau sends me a link. It's to an old radio show. Studs Terkel, champion interviewer, is talking to beloved neurologist Dr. Oliver Sacks. Both men are gone now, but Jim knows how much I love their voices. "A twofer," Jim says. I listen to the interview, then start doing their voices, just riffing to myself, which makes me exceedingly happy. Then the question poses itself: McConnell's silence + Studs Terkel + Oliver Sacks = ? I rough something out, call David Ford, and we get going. As is often the case, the best details come from David's fertile comic mind. Mitch's Silence 00:00 / 04:52 Keep the bonbons coming! Email me when the next one is ready! Email Subscribe Previous Next

Your first words as a canvasser are the most important (W hat I learned knocking on doors for Democratic Congressional candidate Adam Gray in Modesto 2024) My opening Hi my name is Charlie Varon I'm a volunteer I'm with Adam Gray and the Democrats Adam is running for Congress and he's asked us to talk to every voter in the district He wants to know what's most important to you Like, if you were in charge and could change one or two things, what would they be? I had one woman open her door partway She seemed preoccupied I knew she wanted to get back to what she'd been doing But she answered the question - Homelessness, there are all these homeless people nearby I said, "Tell me more about that." She did I took notes, I drew her out, I repeated what she said That went on for a minute or two Then I said: "Would it be okay if I share what you're saying about homelessness with Adam Gray?" Yes And the conversation continued for another 5 minutes Only after listening to her with complete focus and respect, until she had said her piece, did I even find out her name. After that, I told her why I'm volunteering for Adam Gray and why I'm excited about him Then I began filling out the PDI survey When I said, "Can I put you down as a supporter for Adam Gray?" I showed her my phone, so she essentially was helping me fill out the form By the end of the convo, she said she would fill out her ballot, mail it in, and tell three friends about the election and about Adam The reasoning My opening is kind of a run-on sentence I don't rush through it, but I don't stop either I don't ask if I'm talking to the right person I don't try to bond about the weather I don't talk about the candidate I don't want any give and take yet I am trying to get as directly as I can from saying my name to asking my question a question that gets the voter talking a question that treats the voter as the expert - the more important person in the "scene" Changing the game The question changes the expectation of what happens when someone knocks on your door I am not a salesman going door to door selling a candidate I am an ambassador from the candidate A candidate who wants to know what voters are thinking I am a listener, a note-taker, in a way I am the voter's secretary taking shorthand as they dictate Respect The more I can let go of my agenda, the more I can treat the voter as the most important person in a democracy, the more effective I am. Some things I notice when I do this: People's body language changes once they start saying their truth They become less defensive People long to be heard They listen better after they have been heard and feel respected I didn't come up with this approach Here's where I learned it I've also drawn on the ideas of my friends Elizabeth Chur and Jackie Tulsky (talkwithvoters.com )

< Back #14 Poetry Unwound: "Circling" August 28, 2024 Written & performed by Charlie Varon Collaboration: J.P. Tilleman Poetry Unwound - Circling 00:00 / 02:28 Keep the bonbons coming! Email me when the next one is ready! Email Subscribe Attention, writers and performers: I have openings for mentoring/coaching starting in February. Previous Next

Bernie Sanders' dream of Henry Kissinger Charlie Varon 's Comic Bonbons #8: "Bernie's Henry Kissinger Dream " Bernie's Henry Kissinger Dream 00:00 / 03:24 Written by Charlie Varon & David Ford Performed by Charlie Varon Keep the bonbons coming! Email me when the next one is ready! Email Subscribe Use code BONBON and save $25 on the Intensive

"Wake up and smell the data" Charlie Varon's Comic Bonbons #24: "Wake up and smell the data!" (feat. Oliver Sacks & Studs Terkel) Wake up and smell the data 00:00 / 04:38 Written & performed by Charlie Varon Collaboration: J.P. Tilleman, David Ford Next live pop-up show! Wed April 22, 2026 at The Magic Patio in SF Get tix Find out what else I'm up to this spring

Alan Watts - "You are the egg man" Charlie Varon's Comic Bonbons #21: Alan Watts, "You are the egg man" Alan Watts - You are the egg man 00:00 / 02:16 Written & performed by Charlie Varon Collaboration: J.P. Tilleman Special Thanks: David Ford Live show Wed May 28 at 7pm in SF! Get tix now More announcements #1 Don't postpone writing your memoir! Say What You Mean Before You Die New session starts May 1 #2 Can't stand what's happening in this country? Life is better when you're doing something to change it Here's one place to start

About the Year in Review It started simply enough. One Rosh Hashanah Rabbi Katie included in her evening sermon a few sentences about the events of the past year. I liked that: it felt true, important. I suggested we do it again the following year, but more fully. What if it became a separate thing, not part of the sermon? Katie agreed and, being a good leader, delegated it to me. I’ve done the Year in Review every Erev Rosh Hashanah since 2010. I’ve been standing in front of audiences for over 40 years, but the response I get to the Year in Review is different from anything else I’ve experienced. People heartily thank me (but I’ve been thanked before). Some ask me to email them a copy (but I’ve been asked for scripts before). So what’s the difference? My hunch is that the Year in Review meets a need. A need that we may not have even known we had, for communal orientation. The Year in Review is a collective marking of time, an acknowledgment of what we have lived through, are living through. Watch 5785: The Year in Review